I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize