I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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