Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
