you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
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Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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