I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i already hear my dad disowning me
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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