Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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