I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
