Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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