And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
