I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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