I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize