so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
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If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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