I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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