im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...