he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
