Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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