Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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