The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
