it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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