i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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