I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
there is puke in my bra ... again
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
