Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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