Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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