Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
