I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
