Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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