OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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