The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
