so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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