I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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