Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
