So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm getting married
To pizza
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
