You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
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