i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize