so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm like, not good at living.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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