Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
