yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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