I hate your face
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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