Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
