It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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