I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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