One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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