I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
