she woke up with a sticky ear
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize