If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My vagina just clenched in fear
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
