apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
