and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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