I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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