this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
