I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
