I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
