I got chris browned last night
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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