This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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