i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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