We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
