She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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