Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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