Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
