i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
