Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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