I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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