I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
