Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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