I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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