TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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