all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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