I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
